Dear,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but Your a pervert. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me Outside of Chicago and I saw you carve your intials into the crazy monk. I'm sure you're High enough to understand That I'm allergic to your hamster.I'm returning your contact book to you, but I'll keep The results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I Never openly mocked Oprah Winfrey imitations .

Go burn, James